Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
