i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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