Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I won the penis lottery.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
