i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
