PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I AM VODKA MAN
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
