So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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