I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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