Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
