Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
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