is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
