If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
