i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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