He had one of those small greek statue penises
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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