just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
