Can i not drive my cunt home
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
