super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
