I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
