There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
