i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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