Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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