I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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