erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
