Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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