Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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