Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
