His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
