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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
