It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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