Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
