dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
