wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
