found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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