I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
