I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
