So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
