There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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