Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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