i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I know her cup size but not her name....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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