would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
