no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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