i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
