it was like eating out sand paper
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This is the high leading the old right now
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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