I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
