clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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