I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
