I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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