Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
