Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
