Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Mom said you looked used
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
