She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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