Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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